Relationships Reflection

  Ministers, P. Lanette & T’challa Pinkard

I met Lanette back in 1996 when I started working for a major communication company.  We became fast-friends because of our passionate love for God.  Our sisterhood has grown even more after her marriage to her husband, T’challa.  Our families have tightly knitted themselves together throughout the years.  They have been constant sources of spiritual encouragement and emotional support for me.

My mother and son, Sallie & Zech

I lean heavily on my mother for guidance, encouragement, and support.  She knows me better than most and even myself at times.  She is an educator, child-care provider/foster parent, and the world’s greatest mom ever!

My son inspires me the most.  In him I see my value and worth—he needs me, therefore I cannot fail.  I am empowered when I see the seeds that I have planted begin to blossom in his behavior, language, and character—it is rewarding to see the fruit of my labor.  It is because of him that I embark upon my Master’s degree in Early Childhood Studies today!

 British Poet, John Donne once said, "No man is an island" (BrainyQuotes, 2011).  I used to say when I was young that I didn't need anyone, and that I wished I could just live in the world by myself.  My mother always responded that I could never do that, and that I would always need someone.  I think that in a general sense, we all need someone--the grocer needs the farmer, the entreprenuer needs the client, etc.

In a deeper sense, we all need relationships to confirm, validate, measure, regulate, and to recognize ourself.  My list of friendships, acquaintances, and associates has decreased a great deal from the time I was a teenager.  The purpose being that my relationships have helped me to define who I am; knowing my truest identity and fullest purpose in life allows me to fine tune the relationships that now continue to guide my journey and govern my existence.

The above stated relationships are positive factors that contribute encouragement and direction to my life's journey.  The one keeps my spiritual and emotional state of being entact, while the other keeps me focused on the meaning of and purpose for which I live.

The best thing about these relationships that I have shared is that in some way I am able to reciprocate something positive and rewarding to those that give to me.  I may not give them exactly what they give to me, but they are none the less refreshed by what THEY find to be relationally rewarding to them from our partnership.

Scripture tells us in Proverbs 11:25 that those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed.  I am refreshed by my mother's guidance to raise children, she is refreshed by my empowerment to her to live her life to the fullest.  I am refreshed by my god-sister and her husband's constant encouragement to live an integriteous life, the are refreshed by my sincere love and appreciation of their spiritual endeavors.   I am refreshed by my son's trust in me to love and protect him, he is refreshed by my love and affirmation.

These are the types of relationships that drive me to the course in providing and demonstrating effective early childhood education to children and educators alike.  Every moment, a teachable moment.

WHAT HAVE YOU LEARNED?

Every moment is a teachable moment!  The things that we learn as children become, in some way or another, a permanent part of our life as adults.  These bits and pieces that make up the whole of who we are dictate our actions, our beliefs--even the very way that we create attachments throughout our lives and educate others.    THANK YOU, COLLEAUGES, for teaching me a few things along the way.  These are a few things that I have learned--not just in this course, but throughout my life!  Blessings to you all as we continue our Learning-Journey together.

I've Learned...that if we allow ourselves to kneel down to their level, children are the very best teachers in the whole world, and can take us to new heights beyond our imagination!

I've Learned...that we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.

I've Learned...that having one person say to me, "You've made my day!" makes my day.

I've Learned...that having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most wonderful feelings in the world.

I've Learned...that a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

I've Learned...that sometimes all a child needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

I've Learned...that the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

I've Learned...that simple talks with my father over a cup of hot cocoa and peanut butter graham crackers when I was young did wonders for me as an adult.

I've Learned...that to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I've Learned...that being kind is more important than being right.

HOMESCHOOLING -- WHAT'S YOUR TAKE ON IT?

Many of you have heard the stories I've shared about my son and his history of physical and socio-emotional challenges.  If you are a new comer I can wrap it up quickly in a nutshell for you--my son was diagnosed at the age of nine months with having GERD, Failure-to-Thrive, and Sensory Processing Disorder (along with a few other things).  He has received Occupational Therapy for most of his life--he is currently five years old.

Although we have come over many hurdles and seem to be doing fairly well today, we still have major issues with his SPD.  Aside from his own personal dealings with SPD management, he has to deal with educators who have no awareness or understanding of SPD and how to deal with children who have this diagnosis.  THEREFORE,...........

I am considering homeschooling, but need some feedback from those who have insight on this subject. 

SO...please share your comments.  WHAT'S YOUR TAKE ON HOMESCHOOLING?

CONSEQUENCES OF STRESS ON CHILDREN'S DEVELOPMENT

Developmental domains, such as biosocial development, cognitive development, and psychosocial development, interact and overlap with each other. These overlaps can either enhance or inhibit early childhood development in some or all of the domains.  For instance, a child’s biosocial development between the ages of 2 and 6 years of age can render a child vulnerable to physical abuse since at that age they are more prone to impulsivity and are generally dependent on adults (Kathleen Berger, 2009).  Physical injury or abuse can inflict the body (biosocial), the psyche or reasoning (cognitive), and the emotional perception of relationships (psychosocial) within a child’s development (2009). Unfortunately, physical injury or abuse  is also one of the leading causes of death in the United States  (U.S. Bureau of the Census, 2007); in 2004 research says that 10.3 children died accidently, 2.5 died of cancer, and 2.4 were murdered out of every 100,000 children between the ages of 1 to 4 years old (2007). 

Violence is another stressor that impacts early childhood development.  It is my belief that the biosocial, cognitive, and psychosocial development of children who suffer violence can be severely hampered.  The impressionable years of early childhood development can be depicted as a video camera/recorder; the experiences that a child encounters are recorded in the memory of their mind and kept there for further processing until a picture or movie, if you will, is created that gives them a meaning or direction for the development of their life.  This processing of experiences is categorized into either their explicit (conscious) memory (Explicit Memory, 2011) or their implicit (unconscious) memory (Implicit Memory, 2011).   Early life experiences of adverse proportions can effect children later in the form of teen violence (Science Daily, 2008), promiscuity (Now Public, 2009), and drugs (Pediatrics, 2003).

In other countries, such as Nigeria, violence and child abuse is a way of life.  Kenya has 3.5 million child laborers who work under very difficult conditions.  Latin America has 17.5 million children working in unsuitable conditions, and the numbers are on the rise.  In Santo Domingo more than 400,000 Dominican children must work just to survive (Oracle Think Quest, 2011).  Government is currently working with employers of these 4 to 15 year old youth to come up with a solution for child labor.  In these kinds of situations, it is my prayer that protective factors (Wested, 2004) will become available that will foster resilience within the course of life for these children who experience such challenges during their early childhood development.

References

Berger, K. S. (2009). The developing person through childhood (5th ed.). New York, NY: Worth Publishers

Dube, S. [Shanta] R., Felitti, V. [Vincent] J., Dong, M. [Maxia], Chapman, D. [Daniel] P., Giles, W. [Wayne H., & Anda, R. [Robert] F. (2003, March). Childhood abuse, neglect, and household dysfunction and the risk of illicit drug use: The adverse childhood experiences study. Pediatrics Vol. 111, pp. 564-572. Retrieved from http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/cgi/content/abstract/111/3/564

Explicit Memory [Blog Message]. Retrieved March 25, 2011, from http://www.crystalinks.com/explicitmemory.html

Implicit Memory [Blog Message]. Retrieved March 25, 2011, from http://www.crystalinks.com/implicitmemory.html

Now Public [Web Site]. (2009, August 20). Teen promiscuity has psychological underpinnings. Retrieved from http://www.nowpublic.com/culture/teen-promiscuity-has-psychological-underpinnings

Oracle Think Quest [Web Site].  Retrieved on March 26, 2011, from http://library.thinkquest.org/06aug/00168/child_abuse.html

Science Daily [Web Site]. (2008, November 17). Cascading effect of childhood experiences may explain serious teen violence. Retrieved from http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/11/081114080928.htm

Wested. (2004). Resilience: A universal capacity. Retrieved from http://www.wested.org/online_pubs/resiliency/resiliency.chap1.pdf

Child Development and Public Health

For the past week I’ve studied the evidences of multicontextual development (Berger, 2009) in children’s physical, mental, and emotional health. The consensus is that Public health measures are also dependent on various contexts, just as children’s health is influenced by contextual variables. Many scholars agree along with me that healthy children are a prerequisite for healthy communities and healthy societies. Public health measures are designed to contribute to children’s health. Nutrition/malnutrition, Immunization, Access to healthy water, Sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS), Breastfeeding, and Mental health of mothers, fathers, and families in general are just some of the concerns related to public health measures that impact children’s development.

I was asked to write about one of the public health topics and describe it’s meaningfulness to me.  I chose to write about malnutrition because of its personal relativity to the life of my son.  Prior to my son’s adoption, at the age of 6 months old, we had a very frightening episode happen.  My husband and I were putting on our coats to leave for church when the infant began to vomit—he had just been given a bottle 10-15 minutes prior.  The vomiting turned into choking and asphyxia, and he began to go unconscious.  I immediately called 911 and they guided me on what to do until the ambulance arrived.  The result of that night was a myriad of tests, esophageal surgeries, and a diagnosis of Gastro-esophageal Reflux Disease (GERD) from a dime sized hole in his esophagus.  This physical condition led to his later diagnosis, at age 9  months, as Failure-to-Thrive (Rabinowitz, 2010).

At the age of 9 months, the infant weighed 25 pounds (Iwaniec, 1985) and remained at that weight until the age of three years old.  The hypothesis of his condition (White, 2011) derives from the assumption that during his first three months of existence he experienced poor living conditions, inappropriate feeding due to lack of parental training (American Academy of Pediatrics [AAP], 2006), abandonment, and other associated contexts (Berger, 2009).

I understand that most of the time that we hear about malnutrition, it is in regards to third world countries, or deliberate parental neglect (AAP, 2006).  However, malnutrition in my son was the result of inability to intake calories of any sort without experiencing pain.  Indirectly, one might say that neglect played a part in his demise. I choose to say that multicontextual variables (Berger, 2009) of the biological parent resulted in her doing what she could with what she had.  On the surface, this is commendable; the undercurrent displays that her seeming best efforts were not good enough, and the costly consequence was the physical damage to the child’s biological development.

Today, the hole in his esophagus has healed; his current weight at age 5 is 37 pounds, for the past two years he has not had to take at least 3 of the 5 medications that he had been prescribed since his diagnosis, and his Occupational Therapy has been drastically reduced from four days a week. It is apparent to me that regardless of the challenges, my son has shown great resilience in overcoming many of his negative physical encounters.  Protective factors—supports and opportunities that buffer the effect of adversity and enable development to proceed—have changed the course of my son’s life for the better (Wested, 2004).

REFERENCE LIST

American Academy of Pediatrics (April 3, 2006). Failure to Thrive as Distinct from Child Neglect. Pediatrics, volume 117  (4^th ed.). pp. 1456-1458 (doi: 10. 1542/peds. 2005-3043). Elk Grove Village, IL: AAP

Berger, K. S. (2009). The developing person through childhood (5th ed.). New York, NY: Worth Publishers

Iwaniec, D. [Dorota], Herbert, M. [Martin], and McNeish, A. S. (1985). Social Work with Failure-to-Thrive Children and their Families Part I: Psychosocial Factors. The British Journal of Social Work, volume 15 (Issue 3), pp. 243-259.

Rabinowitz, S. [Simon]. (2010). Nutritional Considerations in Failure to Thrive. In WebMD Professional online. Retrieved from http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/985007-overview

Wested. (2004). Resilience: A universal capacity. Retrieved from http://www.wested.org/online_pubs/resiliency/resiliency.chap1.pdf

White, C. (2011). Childbirth—In Your Life and Around the World [Blog message]. Retrieved from http://eleazar-lazaros.blogspot.com

Childbirth--In Your Life and Around the World

I was asked to write about a personal birthing experience—my own birth, my child’s birth, or someone else’s experience that I took part in.  I struggled for a while trying to decide what to say.  I’ve been pregnant twice in my life, and never delivered—once aborted, and once miscarried.  I thought of writing about the feelings of pregnancy—feelings associated with not wanting a child as well as feelings associated with desiring to give birth-- but decided not to go there.

I’ve shared with many of you already the fact that I and my husband have adopted our son.  He is the only child that we have at the time.  I wasn’t present at the time of his birth, but I did have contact with his biological mother during her delivery (she called me on the phone while I was at work).  Again, I was not actually there to witness the birth so I thought there wouldn’t be much to talk about there either.  Then I began to reminisce about the conversations that his biological mother and I had leading up to her delivery. 

I remember asking her about things like parenting classes, keeping her doctor appointments, and watching her diet.  She was 18 years old when she gave birth, and all of these things were available to her during her pregnancy.  She wasn’t particular about healthy food, and asking her to take vitamins was like asking a cat to jump in the lake—it ain’t gonna happen.  She had a history of clinical depression, schizophrenic and bipolar behavior, and various physical challenges as well (hypertension and asthma to name a few).  She had been a ward of the state for most of her life.  This was her second child—the first one she had at age 12.  Her residency was inconsistent, living with different people for weeks at a time. 

By the time the baby was born, the embryo had undergone its deliverer’s indulgence with alcohol, various inhalants, prescription anti-depressants, and malnutrition.  After the baby was born, the mother was released from the hospital the next day.  During the first three months of the child’s existence he experienced poor living conditions, inappropriate feeding (due to lack of parental training), abandonment, and other associated contexts (Berger, 2009).

I chose this example to share because I believe that the birth of a child should be considered thoroughly prior to embarking upon the act of conjugation.  There are so many variables that can either enhance or hinder the chance of a life being lived successfully.  A child deserves to have a fair chance—without the challenges of physical and emotional weaknesses.  The same care we give to choosing a car, or a house, or a pair of shoes to purchase—a child’s life should be considered before it is conceived.  It’s the least we can do for them. 

There are so many women, such as those in Africa, who do not have the resources available to them (Walley, 2008), and suffer death because of it. I am grateful that my son has had the plasticity (Berger, 2009) to overcome much of the damage that was caused by the negligence of a parent who would not take advantage of something that people in developing worlds would die for (Walley, 2008).

Walley, R. [Web Article]. (Dec. 16, 2008). Who cares about third world mothers? Retreived March 4, 2011, from http://www.mercatornet.com/articles/view/who_cares_about_third_world_mothers/

Berger, K. S. (2009). The developing person through childhood (5th ed.). New York, NY: Worth Publishers

BLESSINGS AND WELL WISHES FELLOW CLASSMATES!

The past 50+ days of teachable moments have enlightened, encouraged, and empowered my endeavors of EC professionalism and advocacy.  My deepest gratitude to all of those who added asphalt to the road of my journey--you have paved the way for me to travel!  Here are a few quotes from Educators who have impacted my life and hopefully will positively influence your pursuits as well.

"We have a powerful potential in our youth, and we must have the courage to change old ideas and practices so that we may direct their power toward good ends." Mary McLeod Bethune. 

"Faith is the first factor in a life devoted to service. Without it, nothing is possible. With it, nothing is impossible." 

Mary McLeod Bethune. Retrieved from BrainyQuote website February 23, 2011, http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/m/mary_mcleod_bethune.html

"There is something in every one of you that waits and listens for the sound of the genuine in yourself. It is the only true guide you will ever have. And if you cannot hear it, you will all of your life spend your days on the ends of strings that somebody else pulls." Howard Thurman. Retrieved from BrainyQuotes website February 23, 2011, http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/h/howard_thurman.html