CONFLICT RESOLUTION

This week’s early childhood studies involved a deep look into conflict resolution.  As I learn about the various strategies and skills that are necessary for successful resolution, I am able to test these skills in conflict that I currently am experiencing in my home.  My husband has been severely health challenged for the past two years, and the entire family has suffered greatly.  After approximately 13 months of being debilitated in hospitals and rehabilitation facilities, my husband came home eight weeks ago with an enormous amount of built up bitterness, anger and hostility towards me.  During his incapacitation I had to take on his responsibilities of caring for the business and financial matters of our house.  This temporary responsibility afforded me with information about the poor state of our accounts, which I was fortunate to be able to reestablish and maintain a good status until now.  Since he has returned home, transferring things back into his hands has been turmoil—his need to feel in control and desire to handle his own finances has resulted in several dangerous displays of anger on his part, due to his inability to express his needs and feelings effectively.  

The strategies that I have been testing on this situation have been to (1) to listen and identify the unmet needs of my husband (Billikopf, 2007); (2) present a broad range of solutions to the disagreement about his ability to handle all of the regained responsibilities of household business; and (3)  seek out a mediator that would help us to obtain a better perspective on transforming our destructive arguing into constructive change (The Third Side, n.d.).  My concerns are whether or not my husband’s insecurities would allow him to receive anything perceptually besides negative messages constituted by his beliefs that I have undermined his manhood by proving his methods of business dealing were ineffective.  What do you think, and how would you handle this situation?

References

Billikopf, G. (2009, August). Conflict management skills. Retrieved from http://cnr.berkeley.edu/ucce50/ag-labor/7labor/13.htm

The Third Side. (n.d.). The third side: Overview. Retrieved from http://www.thirdside.org/overview.cfm

WHO AM I AS A COMMUNICATOR?

In retrospect, I’ve learned many things about my effectiveness or ineffectiveness as a communicator.  The one thing that most surprised me is how I perceive myself versus how others perceive me.  It’s one thing to believe that I am an excellent listener and nonaggressive when it comes to expressing my views; but, it is totally different when someone else views you to be something totally opposite from what you thought you were portraying.  On the other hand, it can be quite refreshing and most rewarding when you attempt to portray certain attributes as a competent communicator, and find that your audience perceives you as such too.  All in all, my current studies about effective communication have led me to the following insights:

•           It is essential to develop an effective variation of listening styles that are most appropriate for the situation in which I am communicating. There will be times when the situation may call for efficiency in carrying out an action, or an imperativeness to focus on detailed information before making decisions, or an adherence to a very meticulous schedule; my ability to listen effectively and yet accomplish specific action, content, and time-oriented goals is imperative to my ability to become a competent communicator (O’Hair & Wiemann, 2009).

•           It is imperative to acquire and/or to strengthen Active/Reflective listening skills. The most useful listening skills are those that demonstrate genuine interest in understanding what the other person is relaying, as well as taking the time to verify their intended meaning prior to responding with our own new message.  Reciprocity in giving and in receiving messages with the verifying of the correct intent of the messages is what makes communicating most effective (Nadig, 2010).

References

Nadig, L. A. (2010). Tips on effective listening. Retrieved from http://www.drnadig.com/listening.htm

O’Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2009). Real communication. New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s.

COMMUNICATION AND CULTURE

Cultural Myopia—it is an elaborate term for yet another type of discriminatory supremacy, which views one’s own culture appropriate and relevant in all situations and to all people (O’Hair & Wiemann, 2009); and unfortunately, it has touched the life of every human being in some way, shape, or form.  The key to its resolve is to first recognize its existence, and then address it accordingly.  Through my recent study of this condition, I have come to recognize that I, myself, have communicated differently with people from different groups and cultures.  Whether it was intentionally or unintentionally done to discriminate against or to validate uniqueness, my communication has been laced with my own personal beliefs about my religious culture being relevant in all situations for all people.  Based on what I have learned, here are three strategies I’ve decided to implement in order to help me communicate more effectively with people or religious groups that differ from my own:

·         Use self-reflection as a guiding mechanism for implementing successful communication (Vuckovic, 2008) – the purpose of self-reflection is to increase my awareness of my own culture, personality, identity as it relates to my religion or situation, as well as other factors; this will increase my recognition of habits, intentions, and emotions that I may have that carry pre-judgments which are not substantiated by truth. The unveiling of such biases brings about the opportunity for me to fix the hurtful perceptions and communication styles that pose a problem.

·         Choose a communication style that presents the communication partner with the same level of meaning as it relates to the factual or emotional content of the messages (Vuckovic, 2008) – bringing the topic of discussion to the same page or level of meaning  for the communication partner creates a more equalized playing field; selecting appropriate topics and reflecting on my tone of voice, expressions, reactions, and hundreds of other factors influencing my communication style can help me to be more mindful of other’s feelings with the hope of potentially alleviating misrepresented messages.

·         Identify the communication moderators—habits, intentions and feelings—that hinder effective communication (Vuckovic, 2008) – the behavioral expressions of my habits, intentions and feelings can carry culturally influenced communicative meanings, which may entail hidden microaggressions (Sue, 2010).  Recognizing and identifying these potentially hazardous communication glitches, and replacing them with effective communication strategies, can aid me in fostering a more open, honest and friendly attitude towards others despite our differences.   Taking such steps will help to alleviate unintentional acts of cultural myopia.

References

Sue, D. W. (2010). Microaggressions in everyday life: Race, gender, and sexual orientation. New York, NY: Wiley.

Vuckovic, A. (2008). Inter-cultural communication: A foundation of communicative action. Multicultural Education and Technology Journal, 2(1), 47–59.

COMMUNICATION SKILLS: LANGUAGE, NONVERBAL, LISTENING

In order to truly understand the skills of communication, they must be tested.  Therefore, I watched a television program called, iQ’Viva! The Chosen (n.d.), starring Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony, in order to see if I can appropriately detect nonverbal cues in their original intent.  First, I watched the show without hearing the volume, and it appeared as though in some cases Jennifer Lopez was giving some bad news to a family who had just sung a song to her.  Later, viewing it with the volume turned up, I was able to see that she was not delivering bad news, but was just using accenting, or nonverbal behaviors used for emphasizing specific information in a verbal message (O’Hair & Wienmann, 2009).  In another segment of the show, [with the volume down again] it appeared that Marc Anthony and Jennifer  were giving each other intimate glances; but, in fact, they were making jokes at each other with snide remarks.  There were many instances of channel discrepancy, two sets of behavior given by one person that have conflicting messages, between them throughout the show (O’Hair & Wienmann, 2009).  The assumptions that I made about the nonverbal cues that were gleaned were possibly due to my unfamiliarity with Jennifer and Marc, and how they respond and communication with each other.  It was my assumption that they were married, therefore the glances were read in reference to this belief.  Perhaps my assumptions would have been more correct if I had been watching this show more often, and learned how the two of them really get along.

I learned the following from this experiment:

·         Nonverbal communication is ambiguous

·         Nonverbal messages can be contradicting

·         Nonverbal codes, symbols used to send messages with or without words, can be very powerful; and

·         Eye behavior and language interpretation has a lot to do with relational and situational context

References

iQ’Viva! The Chosen (n.d.). Retrieved from http://qvivathechosen.com/

O’Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2009). Real communication. New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s.

COMMUNICATING & COLLABORATING IN THE EARLY CHILDHOOD FIELD

The next eight weeks of study for me will be in the area of communication.  I am excited about this journey as communication is the life-blood of every lifestyle regardless of culture, ethnicity, nationality, or any other distinguishing differences within humanity.  As I prepare for this journey I am reminded of my greatest childhood mentor of communication—my father.  He was a Pentecostal preacher who believed in living according to the Word of God.  He patterned his life after the life of Jesus Christ, particularly the part where Christ listened to people and understood their needs.  My father was a very competent communicator whether he was dealing with parishioners, family members, or total strangers.  He was great at exhibiting effective communication that was appropriate for any given situation (O’Hair & Wiemann, 2009).  It is my hope and desire to model many of my own communication behaviors after this great measure of a man (Channey-White, 2011).

References

Channey-White, C. J. (2011, January 22). Personal Childhood Web. [Blog message]. Retrieved from http://judah1st.blogspot.com/

O’Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2009). Real communication. New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s.

PROFESSIONAL HOPES AND GOALS

In working with children and families who come from diverse backgrounds, I hope to be able to communicate more effectively—taking into account the deeper insights that I now have regarding cultural diversity, equitable practice, and social justice.  One goal that I would like to set for the early childhood field related to issues of diversity, equity, and social justice is to advocate programming and curriculum that effectively accommodate cultural differences, and to educate teachers on anti-bias practices in all learning environments.

Eight weeks of study about diversity, equity and social justice has stretched me in ways I never imagined could take place in the life of a middle-aged woman.  Pre-eight weeks I had believed that most of the tools and ideas that an adult utilized in their day to day life were derived from their childhood and teenage experiences.  My views were drastically changed as I saw the various levels of my core beliefs tested, shifted, and altered in a way that has strengthened me immensely by adding some of the most important tools that I will ever need to utilize in my life as an adult.  I am grateful to all of my colleagues who have helped me to become a more cognizant individual in regards to recognizing the importance of equitable practice and social justice for all.

WELCOMING FAMILIES FROM AROUND THE WORLD

In my continuing studies about diversity, I have been introduced to interesting aspects of other countries.  I am somewhat embarrassed to say that, up to this point in my life; I have been terribly inept geographically speaking.  Statistics tells us that about 195 different countries exist in the world today.  Although it was apparent to me that other countries existed, I had never taken the time to look outside of my own country to see what was on the other side of the United States.  Even the news portrayed on television and radio never caught my attention enough to influence my interests towards finding out more about other countries.  However, throughout the last several weeks of research on multi-cultural diversity my curiosity about many countries has been greatly stirred. One country in particular has intrigued me most—Mexico.  November 7, 1945 is the date of admission on which Mexico joined as a member of the United Nations General Assembly.  Mexico is the fifth largest country in America and among the top twenty largest independent nations in the world, and just so happens to be at the back door of the United States of America where I reside.  Again, it is embarrassing to me that I have not studied more about this country until now.  It’s almost like having a next of kin that lives right next door with whom I never desired to communicate.   

Imagine with me:  

You are working in an early childhood setting of your choice—a hospital, a child care center, a social service agency. You receive word that the child of a family who has recently emigrated from Mexico [or a country you know nothing about] will join your group soon. You want to prepare yourself to welcome the child and her family.  What would you do?

Here’s my answer:

First of all, I am blessed to be enrolled in a course about diversity and have learned that in order to support families who have immigrated I need to know more than surface facts about their country of origin.  I would begin my preparation by covering the following five areas:

1.     I would research the dominant language of Mexico.  Out of over 63 indigenous languages recognized by the government of Mexico, Spanish is the official language spoken by the vast majority of Mexicans.  Understanding the language will help to minimize communication barriers. 

2.     I would research the family culture.  Knowledge of surface culture alone can prove to be damaging to the potential relationship.  Understanding as much deep culture as possible will aid in the purposeful designing of an environment that is inclusive for the new family.

3.     I would design an inclusive philosophy statement and admittance forms.  Sentences that specifically name and support multiracial and mixed heritage families are crucial to the equitable practice of inclusion for all families.

4.     I would construct a welcome package that is culturally diverse. Positive images, materials, and children’s literature that depict multiracial and multiethnic families would be included in the welcome package.  Creating an inviting atmosphere through not only the environment, but also the materials that are being utilized and distributed makes inclusion more visible to transitioning families.

5.     I would use appropriate terminology in referencing families.  Families have their own preferences regarding how they prefer to be referenced racially.  Taking the time to speak with each family and asking their preference will ensure the use of appropriate terms for their child’s ethnic identity.

It is my hope that these preparations will benefit both me and the family by fostering respectful relationships, and positive purposeful partnering between the home and school environments.  My endeavor as an early childhood professional is to ensure a smooth and successful transition from their place of origin to their new place of residency.

Reference

Derman-Sparks, L., & Edwards, J. O. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. Washington, DC: National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC).